A State of Flux

I used to place
A premium on certainty,
Not just certainty of beliefs,
But on the path I should tread –
Willing even to suffer if it meant
Certainty in the trajectory
Of life.
I strived,
I pushed and pulled against the odds,
That my ideal may be
Fulfilled in reality.
How this and that should be like,
I could see no other way,
No other option
But to make my ideal come true.

I have come to learn
More fully,
That this is not how God works.
Men proposes, God disposes,
And He does so in a mysterious way,
Mysterious to our finite minds
Bound in imperfect knowledge.
With an outstretched hand,
The Lord shatters my ideal –
That I may say,
Not my plan, but Thine,
Not my will, but Thine.

I see,
Into the future of temporal affairs
And I see a whirling flux,
A constant sea of change,
Uncertainty pervading every sphere –
And yet, a God who ordains each step I take,
And whom I can trust to lead me home.

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