timely visit

when we receive every one that comes into
our lives,
even just for the briefest of moments,
as divine visitors sent from God –
whether they bring joy or sorrow,
laughter or pain,
they still likewise carry messages
from Him
for us

Lord, thank You
for opening my heart once again
to desire to love and give generously,
though the price may be high

Verily, verily, I say unto you,
Except a corn of wheat
fall into the ground and die,
it abideth alone:
but if it die,
it bringeth forth much fruit.

(John 12:24)

Lord, thank You
for spurring me on the path of godliness,
for reminding me that
a quiet, godly life
on this earth is not useless –
You will take this sacrifice,
if I offer it with the fulness of trust –
and multiply it

Wherefore seeing we also are
compassed about with
so great a cloud of witnesses,
let us lay aside every weight,
and the sin which doth so easily beset us,
and let us run with patience
the race that is set before us,

(Hebrews 12:1)

The testimony You have
drawn my attention to
moved me so,
that I renew my resolve
to surrender this life I have
into Your hands.

moulded bit by bit

may God give grace
to see the greatest pressures
not as a yoke to be shaken off,
but as boiling water is to
dried rosebuds,
letting the fragrance of the sweet rose
to once again spread forth
and give taste to the tasteless water –

It is good for a man
that he bear the yoke in his youth.

(Lamentations 3:27)

He putteth his mouth in the dust;
if so be there may be
hope.

(Lamentations 3:29)

to bear,
never throwing it off though
it means the loss of life,

to wait patiently and hope –
though he slay me,
yet will I trust in him.

(Job 13:15)

providence

God’s Providence is a most harmonious guide that cooperates with the Word –
they never contradict.

After the experiences of this whirlwind year,
I have renewed faith in the powerful workings of Providence like never before –
and I firmly believe that if I wait on God every step of the way,
God will work all things out beautifully,
extremely beautifully,
that all I can do is marvel in awe
at His perfect masterpiece.

But if I don’t wait on God
and rush ahead of Him,
it will be the ugliest patchwork which I stubbornly try to sew together,
albeit in vain,
for all will ultimately untangle and unravel,
leaving me crying over the messy knots.

I have cried over messy knots;
I have marveled in awe
at what is
and can only be
His portrait of Providence.

The negative,
and then the positive –
to teach me the blessedness
of staying in His Will for me.

each restless hour

the blaze of the noonday sun
scorched with its intense heat:
I cared little
as I gathered like pebbles
each fragment of yesteryear.

the waves gently lapped onto the rocks beneath
my dangling legs.
at first came mourning,
but then joy
and a hush expectancy
for the new year.

the words of Horatius Bonar
was my silent song,

“Yet peace, my heart; and hush, my tongue;
Be calm, my troubled breast;

Each restless hour is hastening on
The everlasting rest:

Thou knowest that the time thy God
Appoints for thee, is best.”

restless are the hours,
full of toil,
which will beat
like waves
upon the shore,
but soon the final wave will come –
that everlasting rest

which shall swallow up mortality
in eternity

then shall I be restless no more.

three takes

Take one.

The irony:
when I never post details of my day
to day activities on instastory
due to a preference for privacy,
and yet share some of my inner thoughts
on my blog
(like how ironic this is) –
many will post pretty picture after
pretty picture about the latest
Lady M or Cake Spade they ate,
but shy away from sharing their
deep thoughts on life.

Sometimes I am afraid of
revealing too much,

but I do cherish this space
where I can show through real sharings how God is real
and so good to me.


Take two.

(Sparked from an excerpt sent from a friend.)

People usually desire to get married
because they say they are lonely.
But it’s not entirely true,
since no man’s an island
and everyone of us has a web of friends
(whether huge web or small web,
that’s another story altogether)
and a community.

What they’re really saying,
and it took me years to also realise
for myself,
is “I want to be fully known and fully loved.”

They have nice fuzzy daydreams
of long walks and long talks,
and sitting beside the fireplace
and living blissfully to a ripe old age –
and always forget the reality of
our inherent sinfulness
which renders close proximity
a sphere full of conflict.

The partner living with you
(as the case with all family,
but being one flesh is peculiar)
day in day out,
will not only know the best of you,
but also the worst of you.

We want someone to know us,
and love us for us,
but they inevitably will see the worst as well,
and being fallible themselves,
may not give love fully and freely
at all times.

When you’re single,
you might not be known so intimately,
as you would if you were married.
When you’re married,
you might be intimately known
but you might not be intimately loved.

How?

God fully knows and fully loves you –
look off man to God.


Take three.

Yet another time to take stock.
How much my life has changed.
I’m nowhere near perfection,
but I’ve taken some baby steps,
and I’m glad for that.

If the Lord indeed opens that door,
that privilege will be
the best birthday gift I can receive.

I gave thee life,
now serve ye Me.

the final interview

I walked past the same Choco Express and Toast Box,
heard the same cheesy “come take me higher” song that is always
being played,
went up the same lift to level 5 –

only that it was after noonday,
not before,

realised I will miss this same place

and though I’m leaving,
the experiences I’ve had here are worth remembering,

the multitude of interactions,
tiny and insignificant as they are
if viewed in isolation,
which have changed me in some way,

the cumulative sum of four long months,

the good and the bad.

I’ve a tendency to try to erase
the unpleasant memories,
but remember it vividly I shall,
if only to remind me of my
mortal finiteness,
who I was
and next time looking back,
how far I’ve grown.