each restless hour

the blaze of the noonday sun
scorched with its intense heat:
I cared little
as I gathered like pebbles
each fragment of yesteryear.

the waves gently lapped onto the rocks beneath
my dangling legs.
at first came mourning,
but then joy
and a hush expectancy
for the new year.

the words of Horatius Bonar
was my silent song,

“Yet peace, my heart; and hush, my tongue;
Be calm, my troubled breast;

Each restless hour is hastening on
The everlasting rest:

Thou knowest that the time thy God
Appoints for thee, is best.”

restless are the hours,
full of toil,
which will beat
like waves
upon the shore,
but soon the final wave will come –
that everlasting rest

which shall swallow up mortality
in eternity

then shall I be restless no more.

three takes

Take one.

The irony:
when I never post details of my day
to day activities on instastory
due to a preference for privacy,
and yet share some of my inner thoughts
on my blog
(like how ironic this is) –
many will post pretty picture after
pretty picture about the latest
Lady M or Cake Spade they ate,
but shy away from sharing their
deep thoughts on life.

Sometimes I am afraid of
revealing too much,

but I do cherish this space
where I can show through real sharings how God is real
and so good to me.


Take two.

(Sparked from an excerpt sent from a friend.)

People usually desire to get married
because they say they are lonely.
But it’s not entirely true,
since no man’s an island
and everyone of us has a web of friends
(whether huge web or small web,
that’s another story altogether)
and a community.

What they’re really saying,
and it took me years to also realise
for myself,
is “I want to be fully known and fully loved.”

They have nice fuzzy daydreams
of long walks and long talks,
and sitting beside the fireplace
and living blissfully to a ripe old age –
and always forget the reality of
our inherent sinfulness
which renders close proximity
a sphere full of conflict.

The partner living with you
(as the case with all family,
but being one flesh is peculiar)
day in day out,
will not only know the best of you,
but also the worst of you.

We want someone to know us,
and love us for us,
but they inevitably will see the worst as well,
and being fallible themselves,
may not give love fully and freely
at all times.

When you’re single,
you might not be known so intimately,
as you would if you were married.
When you’re married,
you might be intimately known
but you might not be intimately loved.

How?

God fully knows and fully loves you –
look off man to God.


Take three.

Yet another time to take stock.
How much my life has changed.
I’m nowhere near perfection,
but I’ve taken some baby steps,
and I’m glad for that.

If the Lord indeed opens that door,
that privilege will be
the best birthday gift I can receive.

I gave thee life,
now serve ye Me.

solitude

After having started work,
time alone has become
a scarce commodity.

With dinners and weekends
spent out,
it seems like there is never
time for self-reflection,
meditation on the truth.

If I were a stalk of flower,
time alone would be as water
to my dehydrated roots.
I thrive on it,
and would wilt from the
lack of it.

I am best around sunflowers and butterflies,
in nature away from the crowd,
quietly singing to myself,
strolling –
unhurried and still.

And yet, the conflicting desire
to conform to the
extroverted norm which society lauds
is a huge struggle.

Gone are the days
where Christians spend
hours just tarrying in
God’s presence.

At the end of the day,
courage and discipline I need
to carve out such times
that I may walk
closely with the Lord.

not on hold

Waiting is a
holding pattern,
like the plane which is constantly
circling the airport,
about to land, but not yet –
Yet my life is not on hold
til that which I wait for
comes:
I have life abundant now,
if I leave sin
and cleave unto God.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:10